By Khayakazi Zitumane– Relationships in South Africa will never be the same again after the Covid-19 Pandemic . The pandemic turned lives upside-down. However, it affected relationships in particular.
According to the UN sponsored ranking, out of 155 countries, South Africa is the 54th unhappiest. Marriages have been affected negatively by the pandemic. While it is easy to get married, it is not easy to stay married.
Statistics South Africa reveals that has been a decline in marriages during the period of the pandemic. Civil marriages dropped by 22.5% between 2011 and 2019 and dropped by a further 31.1% in 2020.
Due to Covid-19, people are feeling less connected as there are fewer social connections. Some people have been left with a stronger feeling of loneliness and there has been less emotional fulfilment in relationships. However, some couples have rekindled their relationships during this time.
According to family lawyers, divorce filling months were February and March generally. However, Covid-19 has caused an increase in job losses and psychological effects such as depression and anxiety, whereas couples were forced to be close to each other during the lockdown. About 2.1 million jobs were lost late 2020 in the country at most.
Mental health conditions were triggered and worsened by fear, isolation, bereavement and loss of income. As a result, many people have anxiety, insomnia and have increased the use of alcohol and drugs for coping.
Expects state that Covid-19 can lead to mental and neurological complications such stroke and delirium.
The Theory of Social Change, Cultural Evolution and Human development explains that humans react differently to different stages of changes in societal conditions. Comte, a philosopher in Social Sciences characterizes evolution from theological culture to metaphysical culture, to science culture.
Times have definitely changed, there is a lot that is being done differently by the people of today, from the people of the olden days. This generation refuses to commit to the same principles they committed to, because times have changed.
For example, “ukubekezela,” which means patience and endurance has lost it’s meaning on these modern times. This generation does not have to put up with theories of old to make a marriage last, as times have changed.
The question then becomes, how do we ensure that today’s marriages are a covenant that is not broken?
Due to the changing times, younger couples are unable to deal with the heat in marriages as the people from the olden days could.
Research on romantic relationships indicates that it is forces from the outside such as the loss of jobs, economic hardships, and disasters that impend on the quality of relationships and how stable they are. Relationship science indicates that Covid-19 is one of the factors that are a scissor when it comes to romantic relationships, because of the difficulties faced.
Greenfield who is also a philosopher, has a theory that shows that Covid-19 left a legacy of psychological effects on humans, and this might reproduce itself even in the new normal especially if these issues are not dealt with.
Covid-19 has proved that marriage needs to be with the right person, for the right reasons, at the right time. This has not been fully applied in these times, making people marry strangers, however, busy schedules had not revealed it.
The experience of the lockdown during the pandemic was necessary. The experiences of others are now ways to teach others the importance of the covenant.
Times have changed, it is important to be equipped with the correct weapons to deal with the scientific theories in these times.
Due to Social Change, it has been proven that one can be married to one person who is different other people at different times, because of different reasons.
The pandemic left a legacy in relationships and there are certain things that partners are to do in the new normal. The pandemic left people hopeless when thinking of having life partners.
To adapt to the new normal, it is important to give partners alone time. A person needs to constantly learn who they are as they continue to change, and that needs one to be alone at times.
Instead of looking at everything that is going wrong, partners should spend more time expressing gratitude for all the good they have. People need to spend time thanking each other. People need to acknowledge the work that others put into any relationship they have with them.
To be able to get back on track, it is important to start small and work together in the venture of making better relationships. Good communication is more than words, this is essential for ensuring that relationships are better.
Mo and Phindi Grootboomas columnists for Sowetan write about their opinions on reviewing marriages and state too, that a stable partner can act as a social and emotional support to the other if mental health in marriage is maintained.
Covid-19 is not yet beaten. Marriages need to be protected.
To be proactive in these changing times is essential. This assists in living in the times of Greenfield’s theory.
Five things are always to be considered when embarking on this journey. Communication, finances, intimacy, beliefs and compatibility are important to make a marriage work.
“Marriage can be the best thing that can ever happen to a couple when both of them want to be in it.”
Khayakazi Zitumane Mokoena, MA student at the University of Johannesburg.
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